When is a youth hostel not a youth hostel?

Last week my son's cricket team stayed in a youth hostel. Youth hostels, it seems, are very different to how I remember them. Back then accommodation was basic, to put it mildly. In "my" day most of them offered a roof over your head but very little else.

In 1975 (when I was 16) I cycled around central Scotland with a friend. Each night we stayed at a different hostel. Most of the rural ones were quite small. Invariably it rained so we would arrive wet and cold and in desperate need of a hot bath and something to eat.

I don't remember any baths (hot or otherwise) but each hostel had a small shop on site where you could buy food - bread, baked beans, pineapple chunks, that sort of thing - that would allow you to prepare your own meals. Once, when we arrived late, there was nothing left except cornflakes and tins of evaporated milk. We diluted the evaporated milk with water and poured it over the cornflakes. It was revolting.

What I remember most was the smell of wet, muddy clothes that were hung up overnight in the vain hope that, by morning, they would all be dry again.

There was nothing to do. No television, no games. Not that it mattered. All we wanted to do was eat and fall asleep.

Eventually we found a hostel - overlooking Loch Lomond - that exceeded our wildest expectations. Compared to hostels in Killin and Crianlarich (to name but two) it was like a castle. In fact, I think it was a castle. It even had a library where I spent hours reading archived copies of Punch. We still had to prepare our own meals but we liked it so much we abandoned our schedule and stayed there for two or three days.

Today's hostels are very different. As well as dormitories some offer a choice of single, double and family rooms. A choice of excellent cooked food is available in smart canteen-style refectories. In the lounge area guests can watch television or play snooker.

The big difference, though, is the age of the guests. "Youth" hostel? Last week 80 per cent were middle-aged (and that's being charitable). Thirty years ago I'm sure you had to be under 21 to stay in a youth hostel - and you had to arrive on foot or on two wheels. Turn up in a car and you'd be sent packing.

Today, "youth" hostels are nothing of the sort. Essentially, they're budget hotels, offering people of all ages cheap overnight accommodation. Nothing wrong with that except ... the oldies seem to expect the young ones to behave as if they're 50 too.

Our boys weren't angels but as far as I know they weren't abusive to anyone; they weren't drinking alcohol; they didn't set off fire extinguishers and they didn't damage any property.

Despite this they came away with a black mark against their names because, according to the hostel manager and some of the older guests (who made it their business to complain), they were too noisy.

I don't condone noisy behaviour - it would have driven me potty - but the moral of this story is: if you want peace and quiet I suggest you do NOT book in to a "youth" hostel.

Alternatively, I propose that the Youth Hostel Association rebrands itself - omitting the word "youth". Failure to do so could lead to prosecution under the Trades Description Act.

Comments

[Dick Puddlecote]

When is a youth hostel not a youth hostel?.

When it's ajar? Or is that a different joke?

Maybe they should call them 'righteous hostels' now. After all, who but that sort of middle-aged, backpack filled with mung beans, would choose to stay at such a place when a hotel is available?

Your kids should have kicked the crap out of them. ;-)