P-P-P-Pick up a penguin
Wednesday, November 4, 2009 From the Department of Health:
Liverpool’s Go Penguins have joined a major Smokefree Northwest campaign after it was revealed that 55 people across Merseyside are killed every week by smoking.
Two of the Go Penguin colony, one decorated in Liverpool FC colours the other in Everton FC colours, met up with campaign mascot, Percy the Smokefree Penguin, at a secret location ... Together, the penguins hope to encourage smokers to access free NHS support to quit smoking.
This is Percy’s final stop on a tour to encourage people to quit smoking which has taken in 25 shopping centres across the region. The roadshow has formed part of a new television advertising campaign ‘One Way Street’ which features Percy the Smokefree Penguin. The tour has been chronicled in the blog www.percypenguinontour.blogspot.com.
Percy the Penguin and our team are meeting smokers face to face to encourage them to use the free help available from the NHS. We urge smokers to get in touch and find out how we can help them reclaim their health.
Go on, you know you want to. Click HERE.
Reader Comments (26)
Encourage Percy and his pals to go to the Antarctic, where they belong, and stay there! How much is all this costing the British taxpayer?!!
Why don't they have Percy the Penguin outside a closed down Pub or Club with the message " We helped to put this one out of business "
I prefer my penquin, deep fried.
More ways the NHS are wasting our money instead of using it to help people who are actually ill, many suffering from the effects of the smoking ban through being isolated or jobless. About typical of the current regime though!
I do hear, intermittently, the word Democracy being used by politicians recently. Perhaps they should check out the meaning in a dictionary!
Derail from this delightful topic here, sorry but couldn't see it being discussed elsewhere.
Simon, you were quoted in the Scottish Herald today ( the online edition here doesn't have the quotes in it so anybody interested will have to read the print edition) about proxy purchase (an adult buying fags for an under 18).
The quote given under FOREST stated that you did not support making this an offence, and from memory there was a 'what next, making it an offence for adults give children junk food' bit after.
The thing about it is, everybody else - the Government, retail groups, enforcement agencies, industry people and even ASH were saying it was generally a good thing and bringing cigarettes in line with alcohol law, yet the FOREST quote implied that having adults supply children with cigarettes isn't worthy of being made an offence and made a comparison to the supply of food to under-18s, which doesn't really make sense as it's not an age-restricted product.
Is this just some kind of hideous misquote or is that FOREST's actual opinion? Just read very badly as it was contrasted against everybody else both pro and anti display ban who could at least agree on this.
Of course FOREST can have it's own opinion but the view in the article just seemed ... odd.
I suggest smoked penguin, Chas, after fattening them up by feeding them with kippers! I once had a great-aunt who had a budgie called Percy ........ a local cat got it. I wish upon these idiots a similar fate.
It seems ok for Percy's mate to advertise Carlsberg, what sort of message does that send out to the yougsters.
The only message this sends out is the government are totally desparate as smoking rates are not falling.
Why are they wasting slices of billions of pounds of our money on this rubbish.
Can't the tax payer alliance investigate this waste of public money?.
I have asked whether Percy (as in any progress) has been CRB checked.
thankyoo percypenguin 4 treetin us hopeless addicts like grownups an 4 bein one of many mostexcellent detours on uncle gordon's road to da IMF.
Wonder what kind of salary Percy's on, but I suppose it's a risky job what with the likelihood of adults feeling the urge to twat a cartoon character that's patronising them.
I wonder if those suits are flammable !
Now there's a thought.
Specky -
If you need any matches, I can post you a box or two................(they still sell them in the shops around here, luckily).
If you need any matches, I can post you a box or two
Be careful.
If you strike a matches or flick a lighter you now have to be accompanied by a match/lighter support officer. Failure to have this support will result in a £250 fine.
Don't know how much the fine is for setting the penquin alight.
It's going beyond the ridiculous now. The pppenquins look completes ppprats. Hmm, wonder if Deborah Arnott & Martin Dockerell, have donned the penquin outfits, they certainly have the same characteristics.
Re Blueblackjack's comment.
Bbj, you have to get your thoughts LOGICAL. An adult person (one who is over 18) buys tobacco FOR HIMSELF.
Regardless of what he may do with the tobacco after the purchase, at the moment when the person purchases the tobacco, he buys it for himself.
If you really, really want a law which forbids giving or selling tobacco to those persons who are not old enough to buy it for themselves, then pester your MP to pass such a law. Be precise. Please do not attack us. All we are saying is that children are not allowed to buy tobacco and have not been allowed to buy tobacco for at least 40 years. Therefore, NOTHING WILL CHANGE as a result of a display ban since the requisite laws which stop children buying tobacco are already in place.
Liverpool used to be home to two large tobacco companies....I suppose that they like being out of work up North
Show yer faces, ya bunch of dickheads.
And to think they outlawed the klu klux klan!
Mary -
I don't believe the law you referred to applies to ME, actually.
I received match-training in the Eighties, during my brief spell as a Grade II Children's Birthday Cake (Candle-Ignition) Facilitator for the local authority.
Sadly, I left before completing the Advanced Module (ignition by blowtorch, magnesium flare, and thermic lance) - which would have raised me to Grade I.
I have the certificates to this day........(should any care to doubt my word).
PS:
I have it on good authority that Deborah Arnott is constructed entirely from NON-FLAMMABLE materials.
So please don't start getting any clever ideas, anyone...............
PPS:
The Middle Englandshire Gazette, April 31st 2014
‘A Non-Smoking Gun’
A Wanda Vaguely Special Report
(By Wanda Vaguely – Crime, Social Affairs, and Cookery Reporter)
In a glittering, celebrity-rich ceremony at the Liam Donaldson Penguin Centre yesterday, Chief Constable Sir Brian Clewless announced the start of this year’s European Smokefree Week.
Beside him on the stage were the much-loved European Public Safety Commissioner, Alfonso Streicher, Assistant Chief Constable Tracey Defarge, Health and Purity League Enforcer Griselda Whippe, and well-known TV presenter, environmentalist, and amateur oncologist, Lucien Smile.
A ‘totally and utterly committed’ Smokefree Crusader since his grandfather died at the tragically early age of 93, Sir Brian has never been a stranger to controversy.
He attracted nationwide attention ten years ago when publicly admitting that some of his officers were ‘probably guilty’ of what came to be known as ‘institutionalised tobacco-ism’, after an undercover reporter, posing as a drunken balloon-seller, revealed that he had been ‘offered a smoke’ in the cells whilst simulating a nervous collapse.
“Of course it was a traumatic time, both for myself and my officers. But I feel, in a strange way, that we are now a stronger and even more effective team as a result. Evil never sleeps. And neither should we”, he said later.
Highlights of what were to prove an excitement-packed day included the award of the Junior Virtue Medal (First Class) to Tabitha Prigge, the 8 year-old daughter of beaming parents Eugenica and Peterkin – both management consultants from Kettering, and lifelong non-smoking enthusiasts.
She received the much-coveted prize for her submission in the National Under-12 Essay Competition on the theme, ‘Why Smokers Are Scum.’
When a slightly nervous Tabitha was asked by Lucien Smile what she wanted to be when she grew up, she heart-warmingly replied:
“A management consultant, just like Mummy and Daddy.”
Visibly moved, the audience applauded enthusiastically.
A more sombre atmosphere descended, however, when Sir Brian delivered an ‘ongoing progress-type reportage’ on the continuing war against what he described as ‘this environmental terrorism.’
He revealed that the latest Anti-Social Element Sweep had ‘reaped some rich dividends.’
Acting upon an anonymous tip-off, members of the elite Anti-Smoking Kommando discovered and ‘completely neutralised’ a smoking den twenty metres below ground at an unspecified location. Sir Brian referred to it as a ‘Berlin bunker-type facility.’
Several items known to be used by nicotine-abusers were also recovered, including a ‘lighter’, an ‘ashtray’, and a ‘pipe’ (a wooden artefact used to hold flaming embers whilst held between the addict’s teeth).
He would not confirm reports, however, that ‘material of a filmic nature’ may also have been seized, and which depicted people smoking ‘as though it was normal.’
“This is a matter for the Health and Media Censor’s Department, and I am unable to comment at this time”, he stated.
Several arrests were made, and many more are expected to follow.
“We may have uncovered the tip of a nationwide iceberg-type ring”, he confided: “We await further developments.”
Elsewhere, in Ahmadinejad Avenue, a ‘random friendly police visit’ resulted in the arrest of two parents – as yet un-named – when a keen-nosed officer thought he could ‘smell something funny’ about the father’s clothes.
Under later questioning, both the father and his wife confessed to having smoked a ‘tobacco-like’ substance on the premises the day before.
The three children have been sent to a Secure Re-Parenting Centre, and the parents detained for trial. They are expected to be found guilty and sentenced later this week.
The RSPCA is also investigating rumours of gerbil-abuse.
In addition, he revealed a stunning result in the hunt for the so-called ‘Mad Dog of Roy Castle Park’, when Arthur Harmless, a 67-year-old florist, was finally arrested on Tuesday for ‘flashing’ a cigarette at a group of plain-clothes officers disguised in ‘schoolgirl-type uniform’ in an area especially popular with families and vegans.
A twenty-strong team was deployed on round-the-clock surveillance when a keen-eyed teenager thought he saw ‘an old bloke coughing, and acting a bit smoker-like’ in the park a week earlier.
At a hastily-convened tribunal of the Public Safety Committee, Harmless was sentenced to a course of electro-convulsive therapy, a £20,000 fine, and a thousand hours community service. He was also ordered to be struck off the National Florists’ Register:
“The leniency of the sentence reflects the accused’s previous good character and age”, Sir Brian said: “Clearly, this was just a moment of madness.”
A practising Christian, he added:
“I know I’m viewed as a ‘radical liberal-type softy’ in some quarters, but sometimes we need to show compassion as well – even to criminals.”
Nonetheless, Sir Brian also used the occasion to issue a timely warning to anyone wishing to ‘have a go’ at a suspected smoker:
“Don’t do it ! These people are aggressive, unpredictable, and potentially dangerous. Remember: armed assistance is only a phone-call away. We are here to serve.”
He also reminded the audience of the continuing danger of ‘dog-ends’, which even today are still occasionally found in the long grass and undergrowth of recreational areas:
“These things are carcinogenic hand-grenades just waiting to explode”, he said.: “Don’t even think about attempting to remove them by yourself.”
By way of emphasising the warning, he mentioned the sad case of an 81 year-old pensioner who took one to a police station, and six weeks later suffered a mild stroke. She is now thought to be in a stable condition.
“When, oh when, will people learn ?”, he asked:
“Leave it to the professionals !”
He also heaped praise upon the creators of the new ‘intelligent’ smoke-detectors being fitted in all our homes by the Government. Each is equipped with a ‘nicotine-detection’ chip, and linked to a national database and satellite surveillance system:
“These are exciting times, and – as a progressive copper - I’ve never been one to rely upon the stick-in-the-mud methods of the past. Good detective methods, combined with the latest technology, can ensure a bright future for us all. Especially the Police.”
Before being urgently called away to a ‘major smoking-type incident’ on the notorious Amanda Stalin estate, he issued a stern warning to any ‘reactionary types’ still harbouring doubts:
“You’re either with us - or you’re with the Child-Killers and Global Warming Deniers !”
This final admonition provoked thunderous applause, and a five-minute standing ovation. Many wept unashamedly.
Only the most stony-hearted could fail to be moved on this truly wonderful day.....................
Martin - I appreciate that Brian Clewless remains one of your heroes and you enjoy publicising his moment of glory as reported by The Gazette but might I remind you of his handling of the Percy case which, in my view, rather dimmed his star?
If you remember, Percy the Penguin was our most fervent campaigner. He was unique among penguins: while his kin busied themselves catching fish and preening, Percy devoted his days to touring those cities in which smokers were endemic in order to rid our society of this scourge. His method of persuading smokers to hand over their packet of cigarettes in return for a nicotine patch undoubtedly contributed to the saving of thousands of lives during his two month period of activism. Then came that fateful day when he ran out of patches and a smoker promised that he would quit if Percy would share with him the last cigarette in his packet. From that moment Percy was lost to the dark side (even now I shudder). Of course the rest of the team managed to bundle him away, but not before he'd been spotted smoking and drinking a latte on a town centre bench (still, God help us) wearing his little smokefree hat. The rest, as they say, is history, and we lost sight of Percy after his escape from incarceration in ASH's re-education centre. It's believed he fled beyond our reach to Antarctica where he receives parcels of cigarettes bought online.
Brian Clewless was responsible for this debacle. Percy was an amateur and, although we celebrate the enthusiasm and PR skills of our amateur activists, we mustn't forget that they are vulnerable. In my view, Brian should never have put Percy in such a front line position. Instead of being exposed to smokers, he should have been allowed only to hand out little pieces of smoked fish along with the "Smokerfree World" colouring in books to The Children.
Anyway, I've said my piece and I look forward to seeing you again at the next meeting of the Puritan Party.
Joyce -
As you know, Sir Brian is a deeply sensitive person, and has been 'on the wrack' (his very words) since the incident you describe.
He nonetheless remains convinced that 'certain sacrifices' HAVE to be made in order to 'facilitate the implementation going forward' of the kind of world which we now see unfolding before us.
He assures me that Percy's parents, whilst understandably saddened at his unforeseeable straying from the Path, are nonetheless 'in complete agreeance' with both his views and his philosophy.
Personally, I find that rather touching.
And I very much look forward to seeing you, too, at the next meeting of the Party - whose numbers (so Sir Brian himself assures me) are growing 'on an exponential curve-type line upward on a daily basis.'
Something neither of us would argue with, I feel........
You're quite right, Martin - onwards and upwards.
By the way, little Tabitha Prigge has gone from strength to strength since that prize. She's just completed her Ph.D which analyses the influence of passive smoking on the collapse of decent society. As far as I can understand she concludes that it's directly and solely responsible, but I admit that it's way over my head. My, haven't we come a long way from banning smoking from the top deck of buses! Her thesis is taking longer to write than she'd like because it's on recycled toilet paper (part of her personal Save The Planet project).
I'm afraid that she doesn't approve of me since finding out (from Brian) that I indulge in the odd glass of Sunny Delight. It's only a very occasional slip but I fear I'll have to capitulate to her demand that I attend the five day course on Approved Liquid Substances or be removed from the Party.
Don't forget to bring your clothing knitted from recycled string to the meeting.
Must dash - I've promised to help the under-7s colour in their "Smokerfree World" books.
Joyce, Martin V, there's nothing like a good laugh.
You're a hoot!
Joyce -
That IS wonderful news about Tabitha !
She's a precocious little thing, isn't she ?
Her mum, Eugenica, tells me that she probably gets it from her father, the late Sir Athelstan Pureblood (yes, the very same), who certainly made some waves as the last but one occupant of the Joseph Mengele Chair of Applied Genetics at the University of New Middle England.
You may recall that it was he, no less, who created a mild controversy in academic circles when advancing the theory that women with large breasts are 'conversationally superior' to those with average or small ones.
He based this on his observation that large groups of men always seemed to congregate around such females in social arenas, and - in one of those 'Eureka !' moments - concluded that men found something (an 'x factor', if you will) in their conversation that was especially appealing to their intellect.
Sadly, his voluminous research material was suppressed after his tragic death at the hands of unknown assailants in the Moslem area of Bradford.
One may, I believe, expect even greater things from his granddaughter - whose youthful ardour CAN be a little dispiriting to back-sliders, I know. Just do as you're told, and I'm sure she'll come to appreciate your virtues as much as I do.
Good luck with the book-colouring project (how I envy you) !
Must dash - I think my Moonbeam Catalyser has singed the cat again.
Should be a good meeting. I'll bring some of Deborah's crispy maggot vol-au-vents: I know how much you like them !
Now I never met Sir Athelstan but I do remember that a chill descended on the ladies of the Females Against Fertilisation Group (you know, the one that Deborah chairs) whenever his name came up. I believe it was something to do with his having to spend so many additional hours on his field research and there was also a nasty incident when he contravened the personal space regulations with one particularly interesting specimen. (Thank heavens, we ladies at FAF never have to deal with that kind of thing.) Tabitha doesn't mention her father. I think she's embarrassed that it was left to Professor Ramrod to prove that large breasts coupled with a small waist significantly increased conversational superiority. Still, he did, indeed, meet an untimely end (I heard that he was trying to find a control group in Bradford by going undercover dressed in a burqa. It's a pity he had such blue eyes).
Crispy maggot vol-au-vents - oh, you do know how to spoil a girl! I'll bring the prune crush (just how you like it with the bits still in).