Thursday
May102007
You've got to laugh
Thursday, May 10, 2007 
From the Newry Democrat in Northern Ireland:
"Hello again and welcome, and thank you for not smoking. Yes strange isn’t it to see hordes of people standing outside pubs, clubs and hotels.
"It's only now you realise how many people actually smoke. On the plus side girls are getting chatted up, but on the down side two guys were smoking outside a local pub and they started to argue on the pavement.
"As the row heated up, one guy said to the other: 'Right you, inside.' "
in Humour
Humour
Reader Comments (8)
Being from N Ireland I have been affected by the ban. On Sunday I thought that I would try a pub that had reputedly put in a beer garden and heaters as I have not been going to the pub since the ban.When I got into the beer garden it was infested with uncontrolled children whose parents were happily sitting inside watching the football. What a joke. It is supposed to be a health issue but the places where smokers are meant to go are being used as playgrounds. If non smokers do not want to have to endure the smell of our smoke,fine- but do not inflict the sounds and smells of your brats on us.
You do indeed have to laugh. One of the features of the smoking ban here in Wales is that all of the churches have had to put up 'no smoking signs' at their entrances.
The thought of someone trying to put their hands together in a word of prayer whilst holding a cigarette between their fingers or trying to sing 'All things bright and beautiful' with a fag in their mouth causes me to laugh.
I hope we can agree on some humour if nothing else.
Robert, even if your comment was wry I'd be hard pressed to raise a titter. "No Smoking" signs in churches, to me, simply desecrate buildings in which I have never know anyone to light up and are an expression of the heavy handedness of this regime and its draconian ban. I feel that it strikes the same intrusive note as CCTV cameras shouting at pedestrians in town centres for minor offences.
It's gone past the first week of the ban here in N Ireland. I have asked and heard of nowhere being visited by the Gestapo[Smoking Police] other than pubs and restaurants. I know of no businesses,churches,shops etc that have been visited yet all are obliged to display the signs and enforce the ban. It is clearly aimed at licensed premises and the rest of the dressing up is for show.
On another point. The Belfast Telegragh- another proponent of the ban-has an article on the front stating that 99% of people are adhering to the ban. What a load of rubbish. They likely asked only those who supported the ban and also who is going to admit to breaking the law. People already know where you can go and smoke, same as where you can buy smuggled cigarettes, cannabis or heroin if an addict or to commit any illegal act. However, when asked by the Belfast Telegraph they are hardly likely to tell them. The law in the South is flagrantly breached but never admitted to by the authorities as it does not suit them. Regardless, it is a laugh that people are being forced to break the law to either smoke or to try and run a business.
Just a quick aside. I have just read that oral sex is a bigger cause of throat cancer than cigarettes or alcohol.My questions are;
1. If it is now to be banned-who is going to police it?
2.How long before some 'Doctor' says that oral sex with smokers is the cause.
Hello this is really a nanny state which I expect will become worse with Mr Gordon Brown in God help is all!!! But smoking what a pathetic country we live in !!I am going to get pocket ashstays no one is going to catch me out!! Regards Amanda H Ps so much for freedom !!
Yesterday there was a big deal over our great leader's single handed solving of the Northern Irish troubles. If it weren't for the fact that he needed that one last PR event the papers would probably have put it all down to the smoking ban.
Great thing is much of the ban can't be policed. Just one example: if a friend comes round to help you with a business plan then your home becomes a workplace and neither of you can smoke even if you both do. Now, short of having a snoop sitting "in" your home what can they do about it if you ignore this part of the law? Answer: nothing!
Up yours Labour government... Oh and as you're going Tony please take the rest of the half-witted nellies with you!