I thought you might like to know how I spent World No Tobacco Day (aka May 31). It began at 5.00am when I got up, got dressed, checked Forest's online press review, and discovered that our response to the DoH announcement (see below) had been widely quoted in the media. Sixty minutes later I was out of the house and driving down the A1 to London.
8.15 Arrive at BBC Television Centre in west London. A parking space has been reserved for me at the Stage Door entrance. In reception, I spy Celia Walden whose scantily-clad picture often appears above the masthead on the Daily Telegraph. Celia is not only a leading feature writer at the Telegraph, she is also Piers Morgan's girlfriend. She is here to talk about Britain's Got Talent which features, er, Piers Morgan. (I should add that Celia is VERY tall but when she appears on BBC News she is, miraculously, no taller than either the presenters or her fellow guest who, moments earlier, she had towered over in the corridor. I think they must have lowered her chair.)
8.45 A producer arrives to take me to the BBC News green room. It's no bigger than a broom cupboard and is littered with newspapers, dirty teacups, discarded water bottles - and guests.
9.00 Deborah Arnott, director of ASH, arrives and we exchange pleasantries. Some people find it hard to believe, but I don't dislike Deborah at all. Why should I? At worst, she's civil. At best, she can be quite friendly. She's also good at her job, which I respect. I liked her predecessor, Clive Bates, too. I invited him to lunch once but he declined. He did however accept my invitation to contribute to a "What's My Vice?" feature in the Forest magazine Free Choice. (His vice, it turned out, was Belgian beer.) When Clive left ASH, we sent him flowers. And a farewell card. But I don't like everyone at ASH. Take Ian Willmore, who left a year or so ago. I don't think Willmore ever said "Hello", shook my hand or even caught my eye if he could help it. I hate that sort of behaviour. What a plonker!
9.10 The make-up girl offers to do what she can to make my head look less "shiny". I hate seeing myself on television. I'm fat, I know, but I'm not THAT fat! On TV I'm just a blob - a sweaty blob with no neck. They say that high definition television will highlight every imperfection. Perhaps I should retire now.
9.15 Deborah and I are on air, answering questions about the proposed tobacco control measures. Breaking news that two young children have been stabbed and killed has cut into our allotted time and the "discussion" is over before it's even begun.
9.30 Drive to our office in central London, still wearing my BBC make-up (which I have forgotten about). I rarely take the car into London but when I do it is almost always expensive. The underground car park in Cavendish Square, close to the office, costs £5 an hour, or £50 for 24 hours. There's no congestion charge at the weekend, which is just as well. Two weeks ago I drove into London on Thursday, stayed overnight, and drove home the following day. Not for the first time I forgot to pay the congestion charge. I have now received two penalty notices (one for each day), a total of £120 (if I pay within 14 days, £240 if I don't).
10.00 ITN has left a message on voicemail. They want an interview, and they need it now, for their lunchtime news bulletin. I jump in a cab and race over to the studios in Gray's Inn Road. In fact, the interview is filmed outside, round the back of the building to escape the noise of passing traffic. The reporter is sympathetic to my views. As we walk back she tells me that although she gave up smoking nine months ago, she agrees that a point of sale ban is a step too far.
11.50 Back at the office, another car arrives, courtesy of Sky News, to take me to the Millbank studios. Millbank is close to the Palace of Westminster and Sky, the BBC and ITV all have facilities there. Westminster Council seems to be digging up half the roads in central London. After several detours we arrive with five minutes to spare. Catch sight of my BBC make-up - which is showing signs of wear and tear - but it's too late to do anything about it. Anyway, it's Saturday and the Sky make-up girl is nowhere to be seen.
12.30 Live on Sky News. Sky presenters can be quite feisty (ie aggressive) on the subject of smoking, but today I am given a relatively easy ride. The presenters allow me to say my piece without (much) interruption. This must be some sort of record. Afterwards I am whisked into another studio for a recorded interview with a distinguished grey-haired correspondent who confesses that he is a hardened smoker. He looks and sounds a bit like Peter O'Toole. (I swear he called me "Dear boy".) I don't like to ask him his name because I feel I should know who he is. I must find out.
1.05 Still at Millbank, but now I'm on BBC News (again) and this time I'm on my own. Peter Sissons is the presenter and I am interviewed for what seems like ten minutes. It's probably much less but in TV news terms it's still a long interview. I like Sissons. He's not aggressive (like Paxman or Humphrys) but drop your guard and he is quick to pounce.
1.20 Still at Millbank and still at the BBC, but now I'm in a radio studio (smaller than a broom cupboard) being interviewed live on the World Service. They ask me, in advance, to mention countries other than the UK, so I throw in some stuff about Iceland, Ireland and Canada. I also refer to dollars instead of pounds and it's all going rather well until I suggest that, thanks to the anti-smoking movement, smoking could become cool again. I hear a sharp intake of breath in my headphones and the interview is brought to an abrupt end, the presenter reminding listeners worldwide that Forest is funded by the tobacco industry. C'est la vie, as they say in France (and England).
Postscript: my final interview yesterday was on Five Live's News Hour (8.00-9.00pm), presented by John Pienaar and Lesley Ashmall. By now I was at home, dying for a drink (and considerably more than the government's recommended 3-4 units). The last time I was on News Hour, a few weeks ago, there was a dodgy line and I couldn't hear properly so I just kept talking - and talking. Eventually Pienaar gave up trying to gain my attention ("Simon, Simon, Simon") and simply cut me off. I don't blame him. I would have done the same. Last night Ashmall asked the questions and I was so tired I can't remember a single one. I do hope it went well.
Thursday, June 12, 2008 