Morning after the night before

I can't pretend I'm not disappointed that we're going to end up with a hung parliament. The interesting thing is, what happens next? As I understand it, it is up to the party leader (ie the prime minister) not the party to decide what happens next.

Presumably Gordon Brown will take advice from senior party members, but it's his decision and the decision he has to make is this: does he resign, having effectively lost the election, or does he try and do a deal with one or more of the other parties, notably the Lib Dems.

Nick Clegg has already said, earlier in the campaign, that Brown is finished and he cannot work with him. He has also said that the party with the largest number of seats should have the opportunity to form the government.

What Clegg cannot do, as I understand it, is a deal in which Brown is forced to step down so he work with someone else - David Miliband, for example.

If Brown cannot do a deal he has to resign, simple as that, and if that happens I would expect David Cameron to be given the opportunity to form a government.

Cameron then has three choices: one, to form a minority government; two, to do a deal with one or more of the smaller parties who will support the Tories in return for "favours"; or, three, create a coalition government.

If Cameron does a deal with the Welsh or Scottish nationalists that gives those regions countries some sort of protection from planned cuts, a lot of people - including me - are going to be very, very angry.

Meanwhile a deal with the Lib Dems would almost certainly have to include a change to the voting system, which the Tories don't want because it will hinder their chances of winning an outright victory in future.

What a mess.

Election night blog

04:45 OK, that's it. I'm tired, and bored, and dawn is breaking. Good night.

04:41 It's not confirmed but Nick Robinson is reporting (on the BBC) that Ed Balls has held his seat.

04:36 Redditch: CON GAIN. Well, we've just had our "Portillo moment" but it wasn't Ed Balls (yet). It was Jacqui Smith. The former Home Secretary has been "trounced" by her Tory opponent. Once again, though, I feel oddly underwhelmed by the experience. She, on the other hand, looks thoroughly pissed off.

04:25 Luton South: LAB HOLD. Sadly, Conservative candidate Nigel Huddleston - who supports the Save Our Pubs & Clubs campaign and even had a photograph taken wearing a campaign t-shirt - failed to defeat his Labour rival (who replaced disgraced Labour MP Margaret Moran) despite a 4% swing from Labour to Conservative.

Nigel wasn't helped by the fact that Luton South attracted 13 candidates including Esther Rantzen who picked up a meagre 1872 votes. The result, however, was to divert precious votes away from Nick and so the party of the departing MP has ended up holding on to the seat when it should have been defeated. Thanks, guys.

04:12 Back on the BBC boat Nick Cohen of the Guardian calls it the "strangest election I've ever seen". Private Eye's Ian Hislop puts it a different way. What we are watching, he says, is an extremely "dull process".

He's right, but how has this happened? The prospect of a hung parliament (which I don't like) should nevertheless be a source of some excitement. But it's not. What's gone wrong?

04:10 Perhaps we will get a "Portillo moment" after all. Michael Crick (BBC) reports that Ed Balls is in danger of losing his seat. There could be a recount. Balls is talked about in some circles as a Labour leadership contender. I was going to go to bed but I may stay up for this.

03:57 Thanet North: CON GAIN. Defeat for the former Labour minister Stephen Ladyman who I once inadvertently called Stephen Ladyboy on 18 Doughty Street (the old Internet TV station). This resulted in several minutes of sustained corpsing as the presenter Iain Dale and I tried, unsuccessfully, to compose ourselves. Sadly the clip is no longer available online but I will always remember the name with fondness.

03:48 Bedford: CON GAIN. My son will be pleased. He has spent a good part of his work experience campaigning for Richard Fuller, the Conservative candidate in the neighbouring constituency of Bedford.

03:42 Harlow: CON GAIN. Congratulations to Robert Halfon who has attended several Forest events and spoken in defence of smokers. Robert's gain is Labour's loss.

03:32 Al Murray on the BBC boat: "We need something to happen."

03:26 Interesting that the Tories have done better in or around London. The Boris Johnson factor, perhaps? Apart from Miliband, I imagine that BJ is another politician who will have a smile on his face tonight. A good election for Boris, methinks!

03:20 David Miliband looking very happy. Smiling, relaxed. This is a man, in my view, revelling in the situation he/we now find ourselves in. He knows Brown is finished and he must be thinking that he could be leader of a Lib/Lab coalition, and therefore prime minister (if Labour's rules allow it), within days.

03:15 No sign of a "Portillo moment". Some people were hoping it might be Ed Balls but no sign of it at the moment. Disappointing.

03:07 Result just in from Edinburgh South West: LABOUR HOLD (Alistair Darling). I'm pleased for him. He has fought his corner and emerged with great dignity in recent months. One of the good guys.

03:05 David Dimbleby: "No sense of real drama." You're telling me. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I set myself the target of 4.00am but not sure if I can be bothered. Time for a cup of strong coffee.

02:58 Witney (David Cameron's seat), CON HOLD.

Good to see a Monster Raving Loony candidate in Witney. We had one standing in Huntingdon - Lord Toby Jug, he called himself.

02:43 Good news for Lib Dems, bad news for Tories: Eastleigh, LD HOLD; Somerton & Frome, LD HOLD. Both were top Tory targets. Meanwhile the Conservatives have lost Eastbourne which is a LD GAIN. Worse, the Tory candidate (and former MP) Nigel Waterson voted against the blanket smoking ban.

02:37 BBC: 125 seats declared and "no clear picture emerging". Not what I wanted to hear.

02:33 UKIP supporters are very quiet tonight. Where are you?

02:32 City of Chester: CON GAIN. The seat that Gyles Brandreth won (in 1992) and lost (in 1997) returns to Conservative hands.

02:28 Is anyone having a good evening? The Tories are going to be the biggest single party but anything less than a majority will be viewed as a failure. Oddly enough, Labour must be feeling quite positive as things stand.

02:26 Plaid Cymru said to be having a "disappointing" evening.

02:21 Montgomeryshire: CON GAIN. Lembit Opik loses his seat. Big victory for Tories - 13.2% swing from LD to Con. Sorry to lose Lembit. Attracts criticism but he's a genuine liberal who has been very supportive of Forest's position over the years.

02:19 Vale of Glamorgan: CON GAIN.

02:17 Eastbourne: CON HOLD. Disappointment for Lib Dems. Peter Kelner: "Clegg will be unhappy with this, and so will Brown." Clegg effect not working.

02:03 Exeter: LAB HOLD. Big result for Labour. Disappointment for Conservatives.

02:01 This should be exciting but it's not. Why? Do you get the feeling that all three parties are losers in this election?

01:58 Angus: SNP HOLD. Tories fail to win top Scottish target.

01:50 BBC: former Labour Home Secretary David Blunkett predicts overall majority for Conservatives. Labour have "lost", apparently.

01:45 I don't know about you but I need another drink.

01:41 Guildford: CON HOLD. Lib Dems making no inroads in seats they should win if they were doing really well. Guildford was their top target in the south.

01:32 Kircaldy & Cowdenbeath (Gordon Brown's seat): LAB HOLD.

01:30 Tooting (Tory target): LAB HOLD.

01:28 Ed Milliband on ITV: "We need stable government" blah blah blah. Coalition - stable?

01:23 Clear swing from Labour to Conservative throughout the country but substantial variations between and within different regions. Election could go to the wire.

01:14 Putney: CON HOLD. Delighted for Justine Greening, the Tories' youngest MP. Very impressed whenever I have seen her on TV. Swing from Lab to Con: 9.9%. If replicated across London, Tories could win a number of marginals.

01:10 Torbay: LD HOLD. Good news for us: LD MP Adrian Sanders favours amendment to smoking ban.

01:07 CON GAIN in Kingswood. Massive swing - 9.5%. Gordon Brown, you're taking a hell of a beating. Deal with the Lib Dems? Hopefully it won't be an option.

01:05 According to ITV, Gordon Brown says he is open to coalition with Lib Dems.

01:03 CON GAIN confirmed in Battersea. BBC and ITV still playing down prospect of Tory majority. I'm not so sure. If I was Cameron I would be quietly confident, especially with all the marginal seats to come.

01:00 Wales: PC GAIN. Good news for nationalists.

00:58 LABOUR HOLD in Darlington and Durham North but big swings to Con - 9.1% and 8.9%. Good news for Tories.

00:56 Thornbury & Yate (Yorkshire): LD HOLD but 4.3% swing from LD to Con. If replicated in South West could mean Tory gains. Potentially bad news for Lib Dems.

00:50 Belfast: ALLIANCE GAIN. Defeat for first minister Peter Robinson (DUP). Big story for Northern Ireland.

00:31 Speculation that the Greens have won Brighton Pavilion.

00:30 Have I miseed anything? Didn't think so.

00:28 Loo break.

00:26 Nick Robinson (BBC) says the Tories have tweeted that they have taken Battersea. If that is true, good result for Twitter.

00:22 Kenneth Clarke (our first smoker, albeit it not smoking): it would be a "travesty" if Gordon Brown allowed to carry on as prime minister.

00:10 Interviews with people who were not able to vote, despite making several attempts during normal voting times. Possibly a storm in a tea cup but some returning officers have a lot to answer for if these (and pictures) are true.

00:05 BBC debating who will govern in event of a hung parliament.

Thursday May 6, 2010

23:55 ITV has Piers Morgan ("friend of Brown") being interviewed alongside Alastair Campbell. Doesn't affect the election, but where's the balance? Agree, though, that ITV coverage is livelier than BBC. Haven't seen Sky yet. Laptop in one hand, glass of wine in the other, can't use remote control!

23:50 Listening to David Milliband, Peter Mandelson etc it is clear that Labour will do everything they can to hang on to power, with the help of the Lib Dems. If the final outcome is a hung parliament, this could get nasty.

23:40 Sunderland Central: LABOUR HOLD. Expected to be close but comfortable win for Labour: majority 6725. Hung parliament territory. No evidence of breakthrough for small parties.

23:39 Personally, I think the large swing to Tories in Sunderland is due to low Labour turnout in safe seat. But I think the national swing will be higher than the exit poll swing.

23:34 Mandelson spinning for "stable (ie Lib/Lab) government". Understandable but pathetic.

23:25 Washington and Sunderland West declares: LABOUR HOLD. Safe seat. Turnout 54% (up 7%). 11.6% swing to Conservatives from Labour. Encouraging for Tories. Repeated across the country it would be the largest swing since 1945. Interesting. Very interesting.

23:20 Interview with Esther Rantzen (Independent) in Luton South. Sorry, Esther, we're backing Tory candidate Nigel Huddlestone who's backing the Save Our Pubs & Clubs campaign. Watch this space.

23:17 I'm bored already! Is it just me?

23:10 Exit poll revised slightly: Con 305, Lab 255, Lib Dem 61, Others 29. Tories 21 short of a majority, according to this poll.

23:05 On basis of exit poll and Sunderland result, Lib Dems doing worse than in 2005. Bizarre.

23:00 Earlier this evening I received this email from Boris Johnson on behalf of the Conservatives:

This is it. As I write these words Gordon Brown should be teetering on the edge of the political oblivion he so richly deserves.

One shove, one nudge, one tiny prod in the right place - and we will at last be rid of this bankrupt embarrassment of a Labour government. Just one last push and this great country will be spared another five years of Gordon Brown.

We will avoid the drift and dither of a hung parliament. We will give a Conservative government the chance to offer dynamic and energetic government and by tomorrow morning we will begin the work of undoing the damage done by Labour.

Who is there left to administer this final judicious kick to the Labour Party's ample posterior?

If you have yet to vote - and you have five minutes to spare - I urge you and all your family and friends to get down to the polling station and play your part in history.

In an election this tight, your vote could be decisive. The boot's on your foot. For the good of our country - I urge you to use it.

Oh, if only Boris was leader of the Conservative party.

22:57 Northern Ireland: "Westminster's difficulty is Ulster's opportunity". The same could be said for Scotland and Wales. The Celtic fringe could dictate the outcome of this election. Yet again the English taxpayer could be the big loser.

22:52 Houghton & Sunderland South declares first: LABOUR HOLD with smaller majority (down 10%). Conservative second, up 5%. Turnout 55%.

22:50 More on voters being turned away at polling stations when they shut at 10.00pm. If people turn up late (ie 10.00pm or later) that's their fault. If people have been waiting up to an hour to vote, polling stations should stay open to allow them to vote. Who gives a damn if polling stations have to stay open a little later? Let people vote!

22:45 BBC exit poll suggesting 7% swing to Conservatives in England; 1% swing to Labour in Scotland and Wales. Devolution? Give them independence for all I care!

22:43 Fizz, Cobra and rhubarb crumble ice cream (from Waitrose). Delicious.

22:37 Alan Johnson: hung parliament territory not conceding defeat territory. No problem doing deal with Lib Dems. Can't see Lib Dems doing deal with Conservatives. Labour tactics now clear: emphasising what they have in common with Lib Dems with a view to creating a Lib/Lab coalition. Offering olive branch to Lib Dems: change to voting system.

22:30 High turnout, apparently.

22:26 My friend Peter Kelner from YouGov on the BBC. Blah, blah.

22:25 Sunderland Central: why the rush to be the first to declare, every time?!

22:15 Mixing my drinks - sparkling wine and Cobra beer. Different glasses, of course.

22:10 Who would you like to lose their seat? One politician I want to see the back of is Labour's Twitter "tsar", Kerry McCarthy (Bristol East). How about you?

22:05 Too early to say, says Harriet Harman. And she's right (for once). I still think the Tories will do well in marginal seats, and that could make all the difference.

22:00 BBC exit poll predicting hung parliament - Conservatives 307 seats, Labour 255, Lib Dem 59, Others 29. I've never been asked my opinion for a poll, ever. Have you?

21:54 I should add that this is not a Conservative blog. I know for a fact that at least one regular reader voted Lib Dem today, and another (I suspect) voted Labour. Several others voted UKIP.

Talking of which, best wishes to Nigel Farage. According to The Times, Nigel is "lucky to be alive" following his air crash today. Looking forward to the Buckingham result, although I expect The Speaker, John Bercow, to win comfortably. We'll see.

21:50 OK, here we go. As Labour's Tom Harris says on his blog today: "Fasten your seatbelts ... this could be a bumpy ride."

For the record, I voted Conservative not because I am a big fan of David Cameron but because I want to see the back of Gordon Brown and Labour. Oh, and because I've always voted Conservative and old habits die hard. A hung parliament doesn't do it for me. Consensus politics - ugh!

If you want to say who you voted for and why, feel free - but keep it short, please. No more than 100 words. Preferably less.

Election 2010: tonight's the night

If I can keep my eyes open I intend to stay up most of the night and blog about the incoming results. In particular (and at risk of sounding disturbingly anal) I intend to monitor the fate of those candidates who voted for and against the smoking ban. (Yes, really.)

I shall be looking out for some preferred candidates including Philip Davies, Greg Knight, Nigel Evans, Robert Halfon, Annesley Abercorn, Nigel Huddlestone (Conservative), Kate Hoey, Tom Harris (Labour), Greg Mulholland, Lembit Opik (Lib Dem), Nigel Farage (UKIP), Martin Cullip (Libertarian), Old Holborn (Independent) and one or two others.

I shall also be passing comment on the election coverage (BBC, ITV, Sky News), much of which will be viewed through the bottom of a glass, darkly.

If you'd like to join me and add your own comments you are more than welcome.

Update on Thursday, May 6, 2010 by Simon Clark

09:25 I have just cast my vote in my local village hall. I am strongly against making it compulsory for people to vote (how illiberal is that?!) but I can't support those who say "Can't Smoke, Won't Vote" or refuse to vote for some other reason.

Generally we get the government we deserve. I defend your right not to vote, but if you choose not to vote you really can't complain about the result. Today, more than usual, every vote counts.

Update on Thursday, May 6, 2010 by Simon Clark

09:43 Nigel Farage in plane crash (Channel 4 News). The first of many dramatic headlines, I suspect.

11:06 What's in store if Labour remains in power, asks former Labour voter Rose Whiteley (The Free Society)

Brief encounter with Gyles Brandreth

Every time I see Gyles Brandreth on The One Show (last night, for example) I am reminded of the time I interviewed him for The Politico, a short-lived magazine I produced for Politicos Bookshop in 2002/03. At the time Gyles was writing for the Sunday Telegraph. He was also presenting a regular show for LBC which he invited me to take part in as a guest.

If I remember, it was mostly about arts and culture and I shall never forget the terrifying moment when Gyles asked all his guests to review a recent film we had seen. Everyone else seemed prepared for the question, and of course they were all young and trendy and desperate to talk about the latest art house movie. In contrast, the last film I had seen was ... Monsters Inc.

Anyway, although my interview with Gyles was designed to promote his book, Brief Encounters: Meetings With Remarkable People, we did touch on politics and he told me that his real ambition, when he was younger, was to be prime minister. Sadly that will never happen because Gyles is not only one of the most charming people I have met, he is also one of the more liberal.

Tenuous link, I know, but given the election and the fact that I haven't got time to blog until much later today, I thought you might like to read it.

BTW, Gyles Brandreth's Breaking The Code: Westminster Diaries 1992-97 is one of the best books about politics I have read. The author had a ringside seat as the John Major government fell apart around him, and I imagine we will see similar books about the Brown government in the next twelve months. If one is even half as well written as Breaking The Code I can't wait.

BRIEF ENCOUNTER ... Simon Clark meets Gyles Brandreth,
politician, author, journalist, broadcaster and all round good egg

“On the whole I say no to being interviewed and my advice to you would be, don’t be interviewed or, if you must be interviewed, be interviewed by me.”

Gyles Brandreth – politician, writer, journalist and, by his own admission, a “soft interviewer” – has a mischievous twinkle in his eye. He is however deadly serious. When his entertaining compilation Brief Encounters: Meetings With Remarkable People first appeared he gave just one interview, to the Independent, and that was only to please his publisher.

The truth is that for all his charm and engaging bonhomie (which he assures me is not an act – he really is like this all the time), Brandreth is not the easiest person to interrogate. To begin with, he simply won’t stop talking.

Twenty minutes into our initial meeting he is still answering my first question. Ninety minutes into our second encounter (I am interviewing him for two magazines) I have almost exhausted my list but it’s been a struggle. Brandreth is no fool and I suspect that his verbosity hides a determination to tell me only what he wants me to hear.

Best known in many households for the colourful jumpers he wore on breakfast television in the 1980s, this former president of the Oxford Union has enjoyed a career that could best be described as eclectic. Today, after 30 years in theatre, television, politics and business (he famously founded a teddy bear museum in Stratford), his is editor-at-large at the Sunday Telegraph where he specialises in interviewing a certain type of VIP. Or, as he cheerily puts it, “I don’t do television personalities. Prime ministers, princes, potentates is what I do.”

The challenge of an interview, says Brandreth, is to get as close to the person as possible in the brief time that is available. “If you are sent to interview somebody you have a licence, almost within moments, to say ‘How did you feel about your mother?’ or ‘Where did your marriage go wrong?’ so you are catapulted almost at once into an intimate relationship.

“Some people of course don’t want that. When I interviewed Vanessa Redgrave we just sat there with her holding my hand. Whatever question I asked she never answered. She just gazed at me and squeezed my hand and repeated my name. So there are some people who simply won’t answer your questions and I rather admire that, but on the whole the situation allows you to be intimate instantly.”

The best interviews, he says, are a kind of heightened experience. “So often with senior people, particularly politicians, there are scores of people in the room. But when I went to interview Archbishop Tutu, who probably is my favourite subject, I arrived in Cape Town, drove through the shanty towns to this quite genteel suburb, and found him all alone.

“I was hardly in the kitchen and suddenly he was holding my hand and praying for us to have a blessing on our conversation. Then his grandchildren and family turned up and it became intimate and lovely.”

Sometimes, he admits, it can be intimate and embarrassing. Perhaps the most remarkable interview in Brief Encounters concerns Lord Montagu of Beaulieu, the first chairman of English Heritage, who finally opened his heart about a long forgotten scandal, 45 years ago, in which he was charged with a variety of homosexual offences and sent to prison for a year.

“It was the first time he said he had talked about it. So here we were sitting in the garden and literally, as we sat down and I asked my first question, there were tears. He wasn’t just crying. He was blubbing. The tears were splashing on to the salmon on the plate.”

Homosexuals, I observe, feature quite prominently in Brief Encounters. Brandreth is clearly at ease in ‘theatrical’ company. On one occasion, as interviewer and interviewee get progressively drunk, he even flirts – hilariously – with the renowned heterosexual Lord Snowdon who finally says to his interrogator, “I take it you had homosexual experiences at school? And after?”

Brandreth’s reply isn’t recorded. Why not? “You’ve got to remember who the star of the show is supposed to be. If people are reading an interview with Lord Snowdon or Desmond Tutu or Christopher Robin or Tony Blair they are reading it because they are interested in that person. You should reveal enough of yourself to make it a real experience, but the spotlight is on the subject not on you.”

He is also wary of being exploitative. “When I interviewed Sarah, Duchess of York, she was sitting there with tears in her eyes. Her PA came in and said, ‘What the hell have you done to her?’ Of course people are vulnerable so you are slightly torn. You want them to be revealing but you need to protect them, sometimes from themselves.”

Alan Wicker, the doyen of TV presenters, once told him that the best interviewers say nothing. “You ask a question and then keep your mouth shut. That’s a weakness with me. I should do that for longer and I don’t. If they don’t reply I try and help them out.

“I am a soft interviewer in the sense that I do not go in with hostility in my heart and difficult questions on my lap. Essentially I want to reveal to the general reader what a person is like and you do that best by being conversational and easy with people.”

Is there anyone still on his wish list? “Obviously you want to interview the people that nobody else has interviewed, like the Pope, but my experience is that it’s the unexpected who often give you the best interviews because heroic people are not necessarily wonderful talkers. I have met Nelson Mandela but as Desmond Tutu said to me, ‘Oh Nelson, he can be so boring!’ meaning as a speaker not as a human being.”

However the book for which Brandreth will ultimately be remembered is Breaking The Code. Having kept a diary since the age of ten it was always going to be difficult to resist publishing a record of the period when, as MP for Chester, he joined the whips’ office in the last, much maligned Tory government.

More traditional colleagues were outraged that anyone could take the whips’ implied oath of confidentiality and break it. “Some were not amused, others were incandescent, and there will be one or two who will never speak to me again. I squared it with my conscience because I didn’t reveal any personal secrets. I mean, if you are a whip you do get to hear about people’s marriages, their drinking problems, nervous breakdowns etc, and I didn’t reveal details of those.”

What he revealed, he says, was the way the political process worked in the 1990s. “Now, happily, there are university courses where the book is prescribed so I think time has healed that wound and I have been forgiven.”

In my book (yet to be written) there’s nothing to forgive. With his rapier wit and desire for less government (a subject worthy of a separate article), it’s just a pity that Brandreth will never fulfill his real ambition – to be prime minister. Still, there are worse things to be doing than interviewing the great and the (not so) good. Believe me, I know.

From class war to couch war

I developed my political "wings" in the late Seventies. Politics, I discovered, is not about being 'nice'. It's about ideas, and debating those ideas and arguing very strongly for the ideas you believe in, even if that makes you unpopular with a large number of people.

Unfortunately, there hasn't been a great deal of debate in the run-up to tomorrow's general election. Oh, we've had three "leadership debates" on TV, but there were so many rules governing their conduct that all we got were a few petulant asides (from Brown and Clegg) and a handful of soundbites, notably "I agree with Nick".

Today, on The Free Society website, Professor Dennis Hayes asks why, in an election without any discernible debate, none of the political contenders came out as the ‘therapy party':

Watching his “a plague on both your houses” performance, Clegg tapped in to the anti-political mood and the anti-politics of our time in a way that reminded me of the ‘Not in my name’ anti-politics of the ‘Stop the War’ movement. No old-fashioned anti-imperialism, just an emotional desire not to get mixed up in big power politics. ‘I want to stop the war … I’m a nice person, and nice people don’t do war!’ Likewise, Nick was too nice to get embroiled in this conflict and was unconsciously adopting a therapist’s approach. He was concerned but not involved ...

Today’s politicians are ‘nice’ and I choose the word carefully. They are not particularly moral or noble and are primarily preoccupied with themselves. What they want to avoid above all else is conflict or contestation. Attempting and often failing to be ‘nice’ they know that this is all that matters and being clear about anything would lose votes. When Brown’s advisors wrote the line about Cameron and Clegg being “squabbling children” it sent out the message that they had understood that wherever possible debate was to be avoided. It was squabbling; not a nice thing at all ...

Without a hint of irony Brown declared on the day after the final debate: “The time for debate has passed.” But there had been no debate, and hardly any discussion about how to deal with real issues such as the UK’s huge financial debt. That ‘debate’, like many others, will never happen. It wouldn’t be nice to discuss nasty cuts and restructuring. This attempt to be nice to us, the voters, is the therapist’s approach. It assumes that we are too vulnerable to face up to these issues and so it’s best for politician’s not to raise them ...

Being nice is now part of the political world in which our betters, the therapists, treat us as their clients who need their care. ‘Bigotgate’ showed that this care is caring contempt. But mostly this is masked because politicians daren’t show their contempt. That would not be nice. The only way to expose their real views would be to force them to debate by expressing our views in a way that wasn’t nice. It was too hard for most people. It was too difficult to overcome the general malaise of ‘niceness’ that is an expression of our therapeutic culture. Too much like the old class war than the modern ‘couch war’.

Full article HERE.

PS. In last week's third and final debate the prime minister said, quite distinctly, "I agree with David". (I think they were talking about immigration.) Curiously, I don't remember anyone saying "I agree with Gordon." Perhaps I fell asleep.

Now THAT'S a party political broadcast!

What a superb video ... Sadly, as Dick Puddlecote points out: "Ain't that typical. With politics crying out for ingenuity, character and humour, Tory candidate John Walsh is landed with Middlesbrough, which he can't possibly win."

PS. If I was a producer on Watchdog or The One Show or I'd sign up John Walsh now. He'd make a great TV reporter.

UPDATE: Not sure he needs the work. According to his company website, "John Walsh founded Walsh Bros Ltd with brother David after graduating from the London Film School. BAFTA Nominated productions range from television series and dramas for BBC, Channel 4, Five and feature film production."

Too late now but the next time the Conservatives need a party political broadcast I suggest they use Walsh Bros!

H/T Dick Puddlecote via Iain Dale

Election 2010: Steve Satchwell (Independent)

Thanks to Forest subscriber Mat Coward for pointing out a candidate whose sole reason for standing is to change the smoking ban. Steve Satchwell, 50, has run the Dominion Rock Bar in Weston-super-Mare for ten years. Standing as an Independent, "Satch" says:

"The smoking ban is a major issue. It has not just affected pubs and clubs a little, the trade is now in pieces ... A lot of people just don't bother to go out any more since the smoking ban came in.

"The atmosphere in places has gone. I want to see that atmosphere come back again – back to the time when people could enjoy a smoke with a drink. If people are that worried about it, then they should stay at home."

Full story HERE.

Schwarzenegger vetoes beach smoking ban

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Republican Governor of California, has vetoed - yes, vetoed - a proposed ban on smoking in state beaches and parks. "There is something inherently uncomfortable about the idea of the state encroaching in such a broad manner on the people of California," Schwarzenegger wrote in his veto message, adding "This bill crosses an important threshold between state power and command and local decision-making."

The Los Angeles Times has the story HERE.

Election 2010: Annesley Abercorn (Con)

Scouring the newspapers for evidence of smoker-friendly candidates, my colleague Karen McTigue found this quote from Annesley Abercorn, the Conservative candidate for Hazel Grove near Manchester (above). Asked if there was anything in his party's manifesto that he disagreed with, Abercorn told the Stockport Express:

"There is nothing I disagree with but I personally would like to see a partial lift on the smoking ban in public places. I believe that pub landlords should have the option to have separate smoking rooms, which are not affecting other customers, and that private social clubs should have the power to determine whether or not to allow smoking in their own clubs as originally promised by Labour. But they then U-turned on it."

Full report HERE.

Above: campaign video for Annesley Abercorn. Bit long but well made.

Big Tobacco: we're listening

Whenever Big Tobacco gets a mention on this blog someone often pipes up and complains that the companies don't do enough for the consumer. Or, if they do, they fail to communicate it. Sometimes, BT is even blamed for the smoking ban!

Last year I was invited by Imperial Tobacco to join an "independent stakeholder panel" to assess the company's Corporate Responsibility Review.

Conscious that I am not a smoker (although I am fairly well-versed on what a broad cross-section of smokers think), I suggested that the panel also include a consumer whose views I have come to trust and respect. An accredited psychotherapist and trainer, working in private practice and for the NHS, she has also worked as a writer, editor and consultant outside the therapy world. Readers of Taking Liberties will be familiar with the name because Rose Whiteley often comments on this blog.

The stakeholder panel met twice. To ensure our independence, meetings were facilitated by a company specialising in global corporate responsibility. Bearing in mind that there were eight panellists representing a variety of stakeholders (including investors and the media), I think Rose and I managed to represent the consumer reasonably well.

Credit too to Imperial whose representatives were very responsive to the points we made. You can judge from these extracts which appear in the Review, published last month:

The [Stakeholder] Panel recommended that an account be given of how Imperial Tobacco approaches contentious issues through its CR [corporate responsibility] programme. This should clarify for the reader the Company’s priority issues and approaches, and should set out an over-arching position statement on smoking, health and consumer choice. In particular, some felt that the Review could do more to speak up for the consumers of Imperial’s products.

Imperial's response:

We recognise that we could be more assertive in our response to contentious issues and that there is greater opportunity to align our position with that of the consumer. This will be something to consider going forward.

Overall, the document continues, the Panel felt that the Review provides good coverage of the key issues of interest and relevance to stakeholders. However, there were three areas where more information could be given:

The first concerned Imperial Tobacco’s involvement in public policy debate. The consensus among the Panel was that the Company does proactively engage in discussions on regulation and the future of the tobacco industry when it is possible. However, sometimes Imperial Tobacco’s participation in such debate is blocked.

In order to communicate the Company’s commitment to engagement, and the challenges faced, the Panel recommended that the Review contains an upfront statement explaining the issues related to the tobacco industry’s role in shaping and responding to public policy.

Imperial's response:

We agree that it is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain positive dialogue with all stakeholders. Along with other tobacco manufacturers, we are increasingly being excluded from engaging with regulators on regulatory proposals. We believe that regulators should draw on our commercial and technical knowledge and expertise when they are considering tobacco regulation. We will continue to seek constructive and effective dialogue with regulatory authorities and to work with them to develop proportionate and workable regulations ...

We understand that the Panel asked us to be more assertive in our positioning as a legitimate business that manufactures and distributes a legal product. We have sought to address this within the Introduction and through further communication of our corporate positions, many of which are on our website. We will give this further consideration.

To read more Stakeholder Panel comments click HERE. To view or download the complete Corporate Responsibility Review click HERE.

Rose and I have been invited to reprise our roles for this year's Review. If there are any issues you want me to raise I suggest you comment here or email Forest direct.

A TV for that defining election moment

Perhaps it was the rain or the prospect of a hung parliament but I needed cheering up. So I drove to the nearest Sony Centre and bought a spanking new HD flatscreen TV. Well, there's the election and then the World Cup.

I also bought a Blueray DVD player (you've got to have one of those, haven't you) and a 2:1 sound system so the neighbours can hear what we're watching.

To be honest, I've been agonising over this for ages. We don't really need a new TV (what the hell do we do with the old one?) but having decided to treat myself I wasn't sure what size to get. I've lost count of the number of times I've walked into John Lewis with a tape measure in my pocket and a furtive expression on my face, but in the end - having consulted the Sony size guide and a hundred websites - I chose a 37" set in the hope that it will not completely dominate the room.

OK, if I'm honest, I still haven't made up my mind. I've ordered and paid for a 37" but a little voice keeps saying, "Why compromise?". Why, indeed. That 40" model does look attractive.

We could fix it to the wall, but I'm not keen. Friends of ours have enjoyed the flatscreen "televisual experience" for years. They have a 52" screen on the wall of their (substantial) sitting room but you can only watch it comfortably by lying on your back which makes it impossible to eat or, more important, drink at the same time.

UPDATE: I still feel a bit morose. I'll probably perk up when the TV arrives. If not, I've promised myself an iPad.

Election 2010: Nigel Farage (UKIP)

In recent weeks I've been a bit mean about UKIP activists, describing some of them as "weird". I haven't changed my mind (see below) but if there's one UKIP candidate I would vote for it's Nigel Farage - and not just because he's standing against the Speaker, John Bercow.

The truth is, I like a man who enjoys a drink and a smoke and isn't ashamed to admit it. Farage is smart and ebullient and he would be a great addition to the House of Commons where his colourful comments and refusal to toe the line would be a breath of fresh air.

He's also one of the few politicians who is prepared to fight for amendments to the smoking ban.

"Every pub's a parliament," he told the Morning Advertiser last week, adding, "It’s a strong and long-held belief of mine that pubs matter; they matter in the sense of community and when they disappear the community loses something very special. It’s not a tangible thing you can put a price on.

“It fascinates me that our pubs are the envy of the world and are now being directly threatened. I want to fight, raise a voice and, if I can, to try and help.”

PS. At risk of upsetting even further the UKIP supporters who still read this blog, I have to report that my son - who is currently on work experience with the local Conservative association - attended an election hustings last week.

He reports, with no satisfaction, that the UKIP candidate was "embarrassing". It was "painful" to see him struggle to answer questions and, when he did, he did so by reading from notes. Long before the end a number of people, including my son, 15, genuinely felt sorry for him. Ouch.

Gordon Brown and "that woman"

Today's Mail on Sunday features a wonderful interview with Gillian Duffy, the lifelong Labour voter dismissed as a "bigoted woman" by Gordon Brown on Wednesday. It's an absolute classic because it confirms not that - for all his blustering - Brown has not a shred of empathy with ordinary working class voters, the very people he claims to represent.

Full interview HERE. I defy you not to laugh or be moved by what Gillian Duffy has to say.

PS. The paper reports that she will donate part of the fee for this interview to her grandson’s school football team, which she says recently became the first Rochdale team to make it to the finals of the National English Schools Cup. They play at Chelsea’s Stamford Bridge stadium next month and she couldn’t be more proud. She’ll give money to her local church too, she says. ‘The rest is all for my grandchildren really,’ she adds. ‘I give them everything.’

See also: Is Gillian Duffy the sweetest old lady in England?

Businessmen act to diffuse policy confusion

STOP PRESS: On Thursday I posted two ad banners that have been devised by a group of businessmen opposed to the thought of a hung parliament or a Lib/Lab coalition government. I can now reveal that the group has gone public under the name Policy Diffusion.

Check out their webpage HERE.

Update on Sunday, May 2, 2010 by Simon Clark

Guido features another Policy Diffusion banner HERE. And Iain Dale includes PD in his Daley (Half) Dozen HERE.

Update on Sunday, May 2, 2010 by Simon Clark

Lib Dem supporters are apparently planning a series of flashmobs on Monday, including one in Trafalgar Square.

The plan:
15:00 - Wear yellow, but cover it. Arrive at the square.
15:05 - One person will shout “I agree with Nick!” REALLY LOUD and tear off their jacket to reveal their yellow clothing. Another person will join in. And another and another, until we are all chanting “I agree with Nick!”
Balloons will be handed out for you to blow up afterwards and stickers should be available.
15:25 - Crowd disperses, taking any litter with it so as not to give the tabloids something to moan about.

Full details on Facebook HERE. Desperate stuff.

H/T Liberal Vision

Halfway to heaven

I have just bought tickets for the Scottish Cup final in Glasgow on May 15. A couple of weeks ago people were speculating about the size of the crowd. How could Dundee United and Ross County possibly fill Hampden's 50,000 plastic seats?

I should explain. Dundee United's home support (excluding away fans) is around 6,000. Including away supporters the average attendance is 8,500, putting United sixth in a list of top 20 Scottish clubs. Ross County, who play in Dingwall, are bottom of that list with an average attendance (including away fans) of 2,100.

Today the BBC reports that United have sold 20,000 tickets and have requested a further 5,000. Ross County have sold 11,000 and think they can sell 20,000. Story HERE.

Whatever the size of the crowd, it's going to be a great day - if United win. If we lose, it will be one of the worst days of my life. Watch this space.